where’s my breakthrough?

So you have prayed and prayed and prayed. You have stayed in faith, you have quoted the right verses, you have smashed negative thoughts, you have dutifully handed it all over daily to your heavenly Father. All of it, all of them – your husband/wife/child/parent/sibling/friend/work situation/finances/physical health challenges/emotional and mental health challenges/your ministry (or lack of)/your lonliness/your isolation/your lack of purpose/your quest for re assurance and for confirmation that it will all be OK in the end. Yet every day you plod wearily through your hours with the burden unresolved. The husband not yet saved, the critically ill child, the rattle in the car’s gearbox, the bills in the mailbox and that sinking feeling in your heart. Where are you God, where is my breakthrough? I have prayed that my husband/wife/child will follow you. I have prayed that my test results will be negative. I prayed for a home for my family and a job to provide for us all. So why isn’t it happening?  Where are you God, and where is the breakthrough you promised me?

I think we have all had those thoughts if we are brutally honest, I know I have battled with a number of them at times, and I have called out to an apparently deaf God, ‘where are you? where is my breakthrough? I need it right now?’ and there has been nothing but a deathly silence. I have now learned in those times, that my impatience, my timing and my human reasoning is not going to sway God to be my personal ‘gofer’. He is God, and his timing is perfect, however that is often not seen until we look backwards after the issue has been dealt with, and the results seen retrospectively.

For me, I have to come back to my faith facts. God loves me, he sent his son Jesus to die for me. I carry the kingdom of God with me, and he could not possibly love me anymore than he does right now. I know that the Holy Spirit is within me, guiding me, comforting me and bringing me into peace. I know that my future is in his hands, and that his promises are true. He cannot and will not lie. He can be trusted. I have also learned that his timing is not my timing, yet it is perfect.  It does not fit in with my plans or agendas. I have prayed the prayer of faith for my unsaved family, and I know that God is faithful and hears and answers prayers. My faith facts are fed by reading and meditating on the word of God, on his promises and on the knowledge that he is faithful. Always and forever, because he loves me – and he loves you too. Its his nature. It is who he is to you and to me.

Breakthrough is overcoming an obstacle. That obstacle may be fear, doubt or just circumstances that look really dire. We can nourish our future breakthrough as I already said by staying in faith, and feeding our faith as we read the word of God and meditating on his promises. I look back at my life, and see that breakthrough has come when I have praised him in spite of my circumstances. Praise builds us up as we spontaneously worship him, confident that he will prevail in our situation. I of my self cannot save my family. I cannot coerce them, bribe them, reason with them or force them. But I can pray. I can speak the word of God over their lives. I can refuse to let negative thoughts take control when circumstances don’t line up with my faith. I can believe even when belief seems impossible.

Psalm 37:4 reminds me to “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” So, be fully engaged in your love walk with him. Talk to him freely, confide in him, give it all over to him – relax in him, abide in him and constantly speak to him especially when the ‘what ifs’ and frightening circumstances come against you. Remind yourself that he is for you, and he is working on your behalf to answer your prayers for your loved ones and you circumstances. Mark 11: 24 is a reminder. “I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.” However this is conditional as we need to make sure that we are not holding unforgiveness towards others in our hearts.

I think of Hannah in the Old Testament who poured her heart out to God and finally had a son, as did Sarah and Abraham, even when it seemed totally unlikely. God was their breakthrough. Joseph at the bottom of a well, and then in a prison went on the rule Egypt. Daniel, isolated from his people group and faith put God first and his breakthrough into power shook a kingdom. And there are so many more. Paul was a killer and yet he had a breakthrough to become an amazing Apostle of faith. Peter was bound up with religion and questions yet God mightily used him. And the common denominator was God was in their breakthrough. It was HIS timing, it was according to HIS perfect plan for their lives and it resulted in a world changing, people changing gospel that has dynamically been the salt and the light that our world needs so desperately.

So don’t give up on your breakthrough. God already knows, you’ve certainly talked to him enough about it. Don’t give up, stay in faith, keep your confession aligned to the word of God and not your circumstance, realise that it takes time, stay in forgiveness and purity of heart and above all – trust him for his perfect timing, his perfect breaking through and his perfect outcome. He loves you, he couldn’t love you any more and he tenderly cherishes your prayers, he gathers your tears in a bottle and his arms are alway outstretched to comfort and support you as you wait. In your weakness he is your strength.

Help God!

Some days I feel that I am less than adequate. I don’t have the right advice for someone, I make mistakes, I bumble tasks and don’t complete others. But is being ‘adequate’ the right way to measure my efforts. And for what? and again, for whom? After all I am a grown up, a mother, a grandmother, a friend, a sister, a citizen and above all, a Christian. I function well in some situations, but in others I am totally clueless. Perhaps it is a job I have to complete, or a person I want to help which reminds me that I personally don’t have the answer or the ability.  It can be a simple task which is baffling, or dealing with an unknown circumstance where I feel completely out of my depth. Its then that I have to look up and say  “Help God” and do you know what – he is there listening. It doesn’t have to be a long winded prayer, or have lots of free flowing spiritual cadences, it just needs to be heart felt and prayed in faith that God is listening, because he actually is. Proverbs 15: 29 states that God is always listening to us. There are so many bible verses that speak of God’s father heart and his attentive listening ear.

We say: “Please help me God” when we reach the end of our human reasoning, our ability to solve, our ability to help or be wise, our ability to create, control, mend, manipulate, function, think or just to put another step forward in our own human capacity. I am realising that I don’t have to be right, bright, perfect, have the best answer, the wisest solution or even the ‘most spiritual’ bible based answer. I wonder if in being helpless in a situation is actually more supportive or practical when the ‘self ‘ leaves the control tower and the “please help me God” mayday signal is beamed up and outwards to an ever listening God. Because then we are getting the ‘God answer’ and that one, without self, agenda or human reasoning influencing it, is always the perfect answer.

I once wrote a post on here a while ago called ‘No more Mrs Fixit’, because I always felt that if I saw a broken person, relationship or issue then I had to have the perfect answer or solution to fix it. Sometimes I do have some good helpful advice, and other times I have absolutely zilch to offer. Its at times like that I admit that I don’t know what to do, but suggest that we ask for help from heaven, because that is where all the best answers come from.

The Psalmist David was always asking for help. He made a lot of mistakes, he committed adultery and even had an inconvenient person murdered. But he knew that God loved him, and his relationship with God was so sweet, powerful, intimate and immediate, that every Psalm which David wrote echoes with the profound faith that God was there listening and ready to help him in every situation. He was and still is, only a prayer away.

Psalms 38: 21-22  When David was surrounded by his enemies “Do not abandon me, O Lord Do not stand at a distance, my God. Come quickly to help me…” and God did come quickly.

Psalm 86: 6-7  When David  urgently needed help from God, he cried out, confident that when he was in trouble (which was often) God would answer him. “Listen closely to my prayer, O Lord; hear my urgent cry. I will call to you whenever I’m in trouble, and you will answer me.” David  expected God to hear him, and we can expect God to hear and answer us too.  

We need to nurture and grow that same confidence that we too, even in our own inadequacy and  human weakness can be assured that when we cry out (or even whisper’ “help God”, that immediately God is setting his intervention into motion. We may not see it immediately, but it is a handing over or relinquishing of our ability (or lack of it) and just accepting that it is now in God’s hands as we move on with our day. It may be only later that we realise in retrospect that God did intervene, that by admitting our own lack of ability to fix a situation or to be wise allowed God to do something greater and of deeper spiritual impact. 

So I am grateful that I am inadequate, because my God is more than adequate in every situation, circumstance and life. There is less reliance on self wisdom and knowledge, but a deeper reliance on God imparting his wisdom into our lives. My ‘inadequate’ opportunity reveals his ‘more than adequate’ response. 

The Anxious Christian: Part Two

I was a little uncertain last week if my blog post ‘The Anxious Christian’ would be well received. Well, it was more than ‘well received’ I was personally thanked by so many for being honest and open. You see there are so many who suffer with Anxiety Disorder out there, and yes – many are Christians. We are not exempt. I received an enormous amount of positive feedback and words of appreciation, so I decided that perhaps there was still more to say on the subject of Anxiety and the Christian. Throughout the week, I jotted down even more strategies that I find effective in dealing with the bouts of Generalised Anxiety Order (GAD) which I still occasionally suffer. Why occasionally? Well, with God’s healing power I am becoming increasingly well and cope a lot better with stress and life. Being a Christ follower has been the major reason for my continuing recovery.

• Last week I spoke about routine. I love routine. Much of life cannot be controlled, so controlling what you can with routine is helpful to the anxiety sufferer. Routine is great, because it brings some personal control into your life and circumstance. When all is chaos around me, I find that my mind turns to mush and my emotions escalate and I am overwhelmed with panic. To counteract that, I create order and control in small areas of my life. My little home is calm and serene. I feel safe and peaceful there, however if it is messy and full of junk, I feel overwhelmed and anxious until it is all sorted out. There is a spiritual analogy to that. When I feel chaotic with God, detached and distracted, it means I also need to come aside with him and get him to help me take out the garbage and reestablish our relationship. The Holy Spirit likes to be in a calm spiritual atmosphere, he brings calmness and peace with him if we make room for him. A morning routine of a cuppa with bible reading and prayer is a good routine to establish.
• Next, dealing with the feeling of  ‘overwhelm’. Overwhelm is when its all too much, the noise, the chaos, the din and the ‘have too’s and shoulds’. Once again it is a practice of spiritually distancing yourself from the noise, talking yourself down and filling that chaos with the calming power of the Word of God. Even a short verse like 2 Timothy 1: 7 “God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind” silently repeated and mediated upon can still the storm inside. Repeat it ten times, silently if you are in a room full of people, and sense the calm getting rid of the noise. The Holy Spirit is the bringer of peace. Allow him to conquer ‘overwhelm’.
• Don’t let anxious thoughts spiral out of control. Take them down before they escalate. I have often had visits from the ‘what if’  style anxious thought which is close friends with the ‘catastrophic thinking’ anxious thought. As with all spiritual warfare (because this is warfare, just read Ephesians six) insidious mental sniper attacks can come at any moment when your guard is let down, even momentarily. I would hear an ambulance and think ‘what if that is my son/daughter/grandkids in there, it probably is them, they were out driving, its awful weather, I’m sure its them, oh no, I feel sick, stomach churning, paralysed by fear, I had better ring them…they’re not answering…its gone to message bank…’ you get my drift. I would then believe that it was them, descend into the mental horror of arranging funerals and then get a phone call from them having no idea of what mental hell I had just been too. Thankfully through the sweet and loving Grace of God, I have learned to sternly talk back to the robber of my peace and remind him “my children and grandchildren are protected and safe because they are carried by Grace, bathed in prayer and loved by God”. Of course, things can happen, but being in a state of constant catastrophic thinking is destructive physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.  Im reminded of 2 Corinthians 10:5 where the weapons of our particular warfare are not flesh and blood, but are spiritual and powerful and EFFECTIVE (the Word of God and the Holy Spirit) they are perfect for tearing down false imaginations (fears and worries which escalate out of control) and bringing every thought that is racing, raging and riddled with anxiety into submission, control and obedience to the peaceful sovereignty of Christ. It’s letting our mind know who is boss, allowing our emotional panic to subside and realising that the destructive nature of catastrophic and panic thinking can be managed with consistent practice and prayer.
• Lastly, a simple one. When feeling anxious, panicked and stressed. When overwhelmed with expectations, concerns, commitments and people, make a list. It sounds over simple, but it works. When your mind is mush because of anxiety, it gives you a practical focus. Make a list of what you need to do. Look at it and decide what is important and methodically work at it, crossing off each task as it is accomplished. I find this works wonderfully with ‘overwhelm’ and ‘have too and should’ situations. I say yes to what can be done, and offer a realistic time frame. I don’t cram myself into other’s expectations. Even small jobs like phone calls can cause the Anxious Christian to waste precious energy and peace struggling with how to manage it all. There is something immediately calming and satisfying when you cross a few things off that list each day.

I trust that what I am writing is helping. I’d love you to check out a man of God who overcame a severe bout of depression and anxiety that left him paralysed on the couch for almost a year. Kris Vallotton from Bethel Church in California has a great word here. It will encourage you.

https://www.facebook.com/kvministries/videos/10153892527158741/

The Anxious Christian

Now that is a headline that will cause you to stop and think. Can the word ‘Christian’ and the word ‘anxious’ be linked in one sentence? Isn’t it a paradox, a misprint, a misnomer? Aren’t Christians set free from anxiety the moment that they are established into a Kingdom relationship with Jesus?  Aren’t they set free from PTSD, OCDC, depression and every other mental health issue? Aren’t they also set free from addiction to drugs, alcohol and porn? Aren’t they healed from cancer, diabetes, heart disease and every other disease that afflicts mankind? When you look around your church, do you see everybody as robust, healthy, slim, emotionally and mentally well balanced? Probably not, and if not, why not? If Jesus came to set us free from the power of sin and death, and to heal us body soul and spirit, then why are some of the church still suffering from illnesses like anxiety?

Oh, that is such a big question, and one I have asked many times. All I know is that we are saved from sin and our salvation continues body, soul and spirit from there. We are flesh and blood in a spirit filled body. It is a process of transformation. I personally have suffered from Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) for the last decade of my life. I have since spoken to and prayed with many other women who are middle aged and beyond, who also suffer this illness. And because it can be an illness that we endeavour to control, keep on top of, hide from others, then it is often not dealt with. So, I’m admitting that I have Anxiety Disorder, but it does not completely have me. Why, because even though it attempts to derail my life, I have found steps and keys to help me grow through it, move past it, partially overcome it and to wrestle it to the ground when it sneaks up behind me and backhands me I can turn around, stare it in the face and tell it to leave me alone, and it does.

Anxiety can come at any time in your life when you are in trauma. I won’t relate mine here, but when you are emotionally, spiritually and physically vulnerable, when you don’t have your spiritual armour on, when your’e disconnected from the body of Christ, when your’e spiritually adrift, or even none of these things, then certain circumstances can cause something inside you to be broken. I am not a medical person, and this is only a short blog, but I want to talk about how I manage anxiety, and not have it ‘manage’ me.

• Do not feel condemned, weak or useless. Damaged mental health is like any other health issue. It is an illness, and therefore can be treated by medicine and God.
• Get help. Do not do this on your own. Pray about who to speak to. See your GP and you may need medication or cognitive therapy. Pray with some trusted Christian friends, do NOT isolate yourself. Accept help.
• Realise you are not weak, and that when well meaning friends roll their eyes and say “snap out of it”  realise that they have no idea of what you are going through. Would they say to you “snap out of your cancer?” No, of course not.
• Try to maintain a routine. Walk as much as you can in the sunshine, eat healthy food to keep your body well nourished, try not to overdose on caffeine, sugar, cigarettes or alcohol.
• And trust in the goodness of God. Realise that God loves you, and that he can and will restore you to good health. Maintain your walk with him, pray, read and study his word. Anxiety, like any mental health issue can be in a range from mild and manageable to so severe that you are paralysed with fear. For many years I have had a range of beautiful scriptures from the bible which I have memorised by heart (and carry around written in a notebook for when I am so anxious I cannot think)
• Avoid possible triggers, or at least prepare for them. Make sure the car has petrol, give yourself plenty of time, look at a map before hand, make a list, take a friend, be prepared, if you tend to ‘catastrophise’ think about what is the worst possible scenario, and talk yourself back from there. Take Jesus with you on that journey.

I will ask Jesus to come into the situation with a simple prayer like this

“My Jesus I am feeling completely paralysed by anxiety right now. I feel fearful and stressed, heart pounding, stomach knotted, ears ringing, I cant think straight, but right now I bring you into this situation (name it) as I have so many times before. You heard me then, and you hear me now. I bring your Holy Spirit Peace right into my body now, I feel it cascading over me, washing this anxiety off me. I feel your peace settling my mind and my heart. My breathing is becoming normal. My heart rate is slowing down, my stomach is unknotting now. Thank you Jesus that you never leave me, or forsake me and you never will”

When you feel calmer, mediate on some scriptures that you have memorised or that you carry with you on your phone or in a notebook: These are just some examples from King David who also suffered anxiety, stress and depression.

Psalm 56:3 “When I am afraid I will put my trust in you”

Psalm 94:19 “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”

Psalm 32:7 “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”

There are so many scriptures on God protecting us from anxiety, fear and worry. Make your own list. Speak them, learn them and carry them around inside you. Polish them up as effective swords to pierce the heart of the enemy. Talk back to the anxiety when it happens. This is only a short blog post, but I want to encourage you that anxiety in my life has lessened (though not completely gone). I rely strongly and completely on God to protect me and guide me through my life. Stresses, triggers and world events will continue to happen, but there is something happening inside of me that has helped me to cope better with these. I rely totally upon my God and my Saviour Jesus. He made me, and as he walks beside me through life, I have the awareness that he is with me in the events that cause anxiety. In quietness, in stillness, in bringing him into your full blown anxiety attack, your reliance on him becomes stronger, deeper and all consuming. Trust in him, he will help you – his nature is love. He will see you through.